Deconstruct a pie, using a free and easy shortbread instead of a crust. Perfect for when you’re in the mood for pie, but don’t feel like rolling, crimping, fussing, swearing, and guessing whether or not the filling has reached the right consistency while you worry that you’re over-baking the crust.

Makes enough Deconstructed Pie for 16 servings

♣

To deconstruct a pie, bake a batch of shortbread in a tart pan, and cut it into pie slices. Make a pie filling in a saucepan and spoon it on top, or on the side. Add a dollop of whipped cream.

♣

For the shortbread:

As an option, you could make the shortbread in a square or rectangular pan, and wind up with as many as 36 squares or rectangles. These would be nearly bite-sized portions, and would be lovely just fucking wonderful for a cocktail party when you and your bros are watching the game, dude (if you have super-classy bros).

1. Preheat oven to 275 degrees. Butter a 9-by-13-by-1-inch baking pan or a 10-inch tart pan. Place sugar in a large mixing bowl. Add vanilla and whisk until combined. Add remaining dry ingredients and whisk to combine. 2. Cut butter into pea-size pieces (perhaps slightly larger, but nowhere near as large as chickpeas). Using a pastry cutter, cut the butter into the dry ingredients until the butter is completely distributed and the flour appears uniformly moist. If including lemon, add it now. Continue the cutting action until it begins to produce large dough-like clumps. Dump the mixture into the prepared pan and press it down so that it is a uniform thickness. This action will turn the mixture into a dough. 3. Use a thin-blade knife (that you don’t love) to cut the dough into 16 pie slices. Use the tines of a fork to create a decorative pattern on the surface. 4. Bake shortbread until evenly pale golden, but not browned, 70 to 85 minutes. Transfer pan to a wire rack to cool. Remove from pan and carefully cut with a serrated knife, into pieces. Store in an airtight container for up to 1 month.

For the filling:

You can deconstruct a pie using most any of your favorite fillings, but steer clear of anything pre-made. It’s homemade shortbread, man. Don’t defile it with canned filling. Any fruit filling that can be made in a pie can be made outside of a pie with remarkable ease. Take, for instance, blueberry. Follow the directions for pie filling, but instead of putting it into a pie shell, do this:

Place blueberry filling mixture into a med-to-large pot. (Or, you could just mix the filling ingredients directly in the pot in the first place.) Turn the heat to medium. Immediately begin to slowly turn the mixture in the pot with a large rubber spatula or wooden spoon, to prevent any of the berries from scorching.

If you don’t use all the filling for your deconstructed pie, consider it as a way to exploit waffle pockets! Blueberry pie filling on top of a waffle is delicious. Or, just eat the filling with a spoon.^[3]

The berries will break down and begin to boil. Continue, stirring, for about two minutes, or until thickened. Remove from heat and allow to cool. Then, either use immediately or refrigerate. Excellent cold or at room temperature.

♠

Notes:

Here are some other ways to deconstruct a pie:

Formal

Casual