If your question is, “How do I freeze bread?” you should click here. If you’re wondering how to thaw bread, you’ve come to the right place. How is Donny Osmond involved? Read on.

On the counter sits
A thawing frozen bread loaf,
Slowly unfreezing

When it comes time to resurrect frozen bread, take it from the freezer, leave it fully wrapped, and let it sit on the counter until it comes to room temperature. Loaves with the density of Olive Bread might take a few hours. Don’t push it or try to artificially speed up the process. Don’t attempt to slice yourself a piece off an unsliced frozen loaf of bread. It’s surprisingly and frustratingly impossible. Don’t, for God’s sake – do not – put it in the microwave! Are you completely unaware of the dangers of pulling something out of stasis too soon? If you want it for dinner, take it out at lunchtime. If you want it in the morning, take it out before you go to bed.

If you really want to live like James Bond, though, don’t just leave it at that. You can refresh the bread in the oven briefly once it’s thawed. This will bring it to the full nuclear-fusion glory of its fresh-from-the-oven birth. But if the Sub-Zero devil took half it’s life, refreshing it will take half of what’s left. So if you refresh it, you’d better eat the whole thing for dinner – it will be spectacular – knowing that it will be nothing but one big crouton tomorrow. To invoke this spell, unwrap the thawed loaf, sprinkle it with a little bit of water – just dampen it, do not soak it – and put it in a 200˚F oven for about 5 minutes. It will burst onto the scene like Susan Boyle and sing for the Queen in Windsor Castle, but by the first rays of dawn, it will nose dive into singing duets with Donny Osmond in Vegas.

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Thawing a Frozen Loaf of Bread

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