♣

This pie will fully satisfy your holiday pumpkin craving like you will not believe.

♣

Pumpkin Pie with Nutmeg Whipped Cream and Caramel Drizzle is somewhat more finessed than a traditional pumpkin pie, but not in a out-of-left-field kind of way … more of a that’s-the-best-pumpkin-pie-I’ve-ever-had kind of way. It is right in line with your most nostalgic Thanksgiving memories, but with a bit more depth and extravagance. The pie filling is ultra traditional, from scratch, just like your grandma’s or your favorite aunt’s (or your favorite uncle’s, if you’re one of my siblings’ kids). The crust and the topping take all that delicious comfort-foodieness and make it into a celebration.

Makes the equivalent of two pies, serving 16 … unless you want seconds

FOR THE CRUST

Ingredients:

Non-stick spray
1 spice cake mix (15.25 oz.)
2 Tbs AP flour
½ cup butter (1 stick, salted or not), melted
1 egg

How To Do It:

1. Spray a 15″ x 10″ jellyroll pan with non-stick spray (or use a non-stick pan and skip the spray). Set aside.
2. In the bowl of a stand mixer fitted with the paddle attachment, combine the cake mix, flour, and melted butter until the dry ingredients are fully moistened, about 30 seconds on speed 1 (of 10). Add egg and mix until completely combined, about 30 seconds. The dough will look wet, but when you touch it, you’ll discover that it’s not at all sticky. Press into the bottom of prepared pan.
3. Preheat oven to 350°F.

FOR THE FILLING

Ingredients:

4 eggs
1 can (29-oz.) pumpkin
1½ cups sugar
1 tsp salt
2 tsp cinnamon
1 tsp ginger
½ tsp cloves
2 cans (12-oz. each) evaporated milk

How To Do It:

1. With the whisk attachment, whip the eggs until frothy, about 3 minutes on speed 6. Add pumpkin, sugar, salt, cinnamon, ginger, and cloves and mix until combined, about 30 seconds on speed 4. Scrape down the sides of the bowl and mix again for 10 seconds. While mixer is running on speed 2, slowly pour in evaporated milk and mix until smooth, about 1 minute. Scrape the sides of the bowl and do a bit of final mixing with your spatula.
2. Pour 2 cups of the filling into a large measuring cup and set aside.
3. Open the oven and pull the rack out to its most extended position. Place the pie on the rack, and pour the filling into it. Slide the rack into the oven, and add the reserved filling.
4. Bake until knife inserted an inch from any one of the edges comes out clean, about 1 hour.

FOR THE WHIP

Ingredients:
1 cup heavy cream
2 Tbs sugar
¾ tsp vanilla extract
½ tsp ground nutmeg

How To Do It:

1. Moments before serving, whip all ingredients until soft peaks form. Top each square with a generous dollop of whip and then, if desired, drizzle with caramel sauce.

This literally is pumpkin spice.

Easy Recipe for a Somewhat Non-Traditional Pumpkin Pie with Cool Whip or Nutmeg Whip

This pie’s overall flavor is all about pumpkin; it’s just that it’s a bit darker, a bit deeper, and dangerously alluring. In your first bite you’ll notice the difference, by your second bite you will have accepted the difference, by your third bite you’ll be enjoying the difference, and by the time you’ve finished, you’ll either feel quite pumpkin-pie satisfied, or you’ll be reaching for a second helping, destined for pumpkin pie nirvana. Bonus: this recipe produces the equivalent of two pies, but it’s much easier to schlep around.

Can of Pumpkin: I use Libby’s “100% Pure Pumpkin” because it’s there.

Condensed Milk: I use Nestle Carnation evaporated milk, because it has vitamin D added, and God knows, pumpkin pie is the way I prefer to get my vitamin D! But on occasion I’ve found myself, as one often does, with only one can. According to All Recipes, you can substitute an equal portion of light cream. There’s an interesting discussion on this topic at Chowhound. I’ve tried it; it worked. Of course, I didn’t actually have light cream on hand, because, why would I? So I used the milk conversion chart to create some.

Cool Whip: I have a thing for Cool Whip. It’s so pristine in its utter artificiality. There’s something very wrong about marrying it to something organic, like pumpkin purée … something very, very wrong in a way that makes me want to go to underground clubs where anonymous people eat pumpkin pie with Cool Whip in the dark. But it’s Thanksgiving, and the relatives are over. Distract them from their annual review of your interior design shortcomings with a flavored whipped cream, and withhold from those who deserveth it not the Cool Whip.

Crust: If you want a crisp crust, this is not it. However, this recipe won’t produce a soggy crust, either. It’s dense, but soft. It’s twice as comfort-foodie as pie crust. The spice flavor is the one step away from tradition that this pie takes. I’ve used Duncan Hines “Spice Cake,” but I’m not partial to it. I’ve also used Betty Crocker. In addition, I’ve also used Pillsbury Moist Supreme “Classic Yellow.” It’s distinctly different. Significantly sweeter. You should consider less sugar in the pumpkin because of this. This yellow-cake version is not as interesting as the spice version, but it does have a pumpkin-forward flavor profile. The texture is fucking sexy. Almost too much, actually. I prefer the spice. Want a crust alternative to cake mix that’s just as easy? Click here. By the way I’m suspicious about the sizes of boxed cakes: 15.25 oz. Are box cakes shrinking? I think they are.

Ingredients: If you’re planning to make this for Thanksgiving, I suggest you buy the canned and boxed ingredients around Halloween. Starting the first of December, people buy this shit up! You’ll be schlepping all over town looking for spice cake! I have a large family. If I bring pumpkin pie squares to Thanksgiving, I have to bring two batches. If you put two of these in the oven together, raise the temperature by 25 degrees.

Leftovers: this pie will keep, covered and refrigerated, for five days or so. It won’t freeze well. It’s about the best breakfast I can imagine.

Melting Butter: Break a stick of butter in two with your powerful manfists, place it in a glass measuring cup, and nuke it on 75% power for 90 seconds.)

Pan Size: I’ve used a 13″ x 9″ cake pan instead of a jellyroll pan. Lower the oven temp by 25 degrees and increase the baking time. Crimp foil around the edges of the pan for two-thirds of the baking time. Can you do this in an 11″ X 17″ pan? Sure. Reduce baking time by about 20 minutes.

Pouring: it’s time to pour the filling into the pan. This step can be tricky. First, the filling may fill the pan to such a degree that you’ll likely spill it when moving it from the countertop to the oven. Second problem: my oven has a beautiful rack – a couple of them, actually. When you pull them out, however, they become slightly unlevel. You too? Don’t be self-conscious. So your rack’s not perfect. So what. How many of them really are, upon close examination? My oven’s rack is so slightly off, that you might not notice until you try to balance an unbaked pie on it. The filling may not fit into the pan if the pan isn’t level. That’s why my directions are what they are. Fill this pie on the counter and try to transfer it to the oven without spilling it. I dare you.

Squares: Cutting the pie into squares is the most efficient thing to do. Well, that’s not completely true … just sitting down with the pan and a fork would be incredibly efficient. Come to think of it, screw the fork. The pie and your own two bare hands: it doesn’t get any leaner and meaner than that. But, since I have a suspicion your world is just a little too laced up for that, cutting the pie into neatly measured anal retentive squares is the next best thing. You can also use a biscuit cutter to cut out circles. You’d think that’d be somewhat less efficient, since it would produce pie scraps, but curiously, it doesn’t. I find that as I cut the circles with my right hand, my left hand – all on its own – picks up the would-be scraps as I go and shoves them in my mouth. Seems highly efficient to me. Plus, as you know, stuff you eat while cooking has no calories. If you absolutely must have circular pies, simply use two pie plates and reduce the baking time by at least 20 minutes.

Whipped Cream: is one of those just-in-time preps – which is just fine, since a stand mixer makes it about as easy as microwaving popcorn. But if you’re going to have leftover pie that you’ll be eating for breakfast for the next few days – and trust me, it’s even better than pizza – you’re not going to want to blast your delicate state of morning semi-consciousness with the violent scream of your KitchenAid. It’s like having boiling water thrown on your brain. In that case, when you do your initial whip and you’ve dolloped as many squares as you’re going to eat, you can really beat the hell out of the rest of that cream, taking it well into the stiff-peaks area, bordering on whoops. Then package it up and fridge it. The next day, it will have seeped, but you stir it up rather thoroughly and it will become good enough to grace your pie. Pair it with a cappuccino and you’ll find yourself in a state of having absolutely nothing to complain about.