Image Cred: Ebay

With a banana holder this colorful, there’s no way you’re going to lose it in an airplane bathroom or dark movie theater.

♣

Fab Fruit Defender Resists Road Rash

Hold Me Closer, Pink Banana

I know I dropped you on the highway
And somebody minivanned ya
But I know that’s you’re OK

This is the conclusion of a 2-part post on banana protection
To start from the beginning, click here

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Last time, we examined the importance of banana protection and illustrated some of the best methods for safely storing a banana in your pocket. The solutions we discussed work for many people. But highly active guys know that having a rigid banana in your pocket can restrict your movement. That’s where the leather Banana Holder comes in handy.

Designed to allow riders to safely carry and easily access a banana, a leather holder is perfect when you’re on the go.

Banana Holder on Seat: Secure!

For a mere $55, you can have the peace of mind and sense of preparedness that comes only from knowing that you have the safest and most adaptable banana-carrying device available.

Banana Holder on Handle Bar

Look how easy it is to access your ripe, beautiful banana. As soon as the urge strikes, you can hop off that bike and whip out your banana in seconds.

Banana Holder on Crossbar

Are you versatile? So is the leather Banana Holder! If you decide to park your bike and take your banana for a walk through the park or along the beach, you can easily snap it to your belt.

Banana Holder Riding Low on the Hip

It’s easy to see the potential uses this feature makes possible: accessorize your construction worker tool belt, or conceal a banana underneath your tuxedo jacket. That long, lovely banana is one of your most valuable assets. Why would you leave it at home, or make someone fish around in your pocket for it, when you can proudly display it for the world to see?^[1]

Now, there are always those few holdouts who are quick to say that they don’t give a shit and won’t give a shit until they can throw their bananas like hand grenades at unsuspecting college girls.

Give a Shit Levels

Well, believe it or not, there’s a banana protection device for you, too. You’ll knock those inexperienced co-eds off their feet when you hit them with your Banana Grenade!

Banana Grenade

The Banana Grenade^[2] can be hard to find, but fortunately, making one is an easy DIY project you can accomplish with just a few items from your local hardware store.

Hold it, protect it, cozy it:
love it

And finally, should we discuss the obvious advantages that banana protection can bring to your love life? Of course we should! One look at your banana in its holder will assure any potential mate of your sensible practicality and suave sophistication. Plus, you’ll have confidence in knowing that you can roll over on it, accidentally let someone step on it, you can even have a steelworker kick it hard with his black-leather steel-toed boot – and not only will the holder resist damage, the banana inside will remain just as sweet, fragrant, and delicious as ever.

So, say goodbye to your grandfather’s banana protection:

Your Grandfather’s Banana Saver

And say hello to the best line of defense and security your banana’s ever had. There’s nothing chicks^[3] dig more than a safe, armor-clad banana. Don’t believe us? Next time you ask someone out, bring a banana holder on your first date – you’ll be having a second date in no time.

Banana on a Second Date

Notes:

In our next post:

Your Corn Dog Also Needs Protection

Rick Perry and a Corn Dog

Image creds: Wellsphere, Heather Hopkins, Banana Bunker, Vat 19, Etsy, Biken, Cafe Press, Ebay, My Ass Hurts, Funny or Die

Featured Image: Vat 19

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