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These homemade Five Guys burgers will definitely remind you of the real thing – you’ll be surprised how much.

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The slight departure – Allegro sauce and minced onion – gives them just a tiny bit of a kick without disturbing the Five Guys vibe. They’re juicy, meaty, and incredibly tasty. You’ll need both hands and a napkin or two, and you’ll want to make sure there are no paparazzi around to film you as you demolish one. One advantage over going to Five Guys: you can pair these homemade badboys with your favorite beer.

You want your burgers to fit the bun, so the pre-cooked burger will have to start out about ¼- to ½-inch larger than the buns. Five Guys’ meat patty is about an ounce heavier than mine. Although the difference is slight, I come away from my burger feeling full, as opposed to coming away from the real Five Guys burger feeling like I’m about to pass out and fall into a food coma for the remainder of the day.

Don’t use the kind of cheese that comes in individually-wrapped slices. If your deli doesn’t have some American cheese behind the counter, look for some in the dairy aisle. It should say “deli style” on the package. The slices should be nice and thick, and seem more like cheese and less like a soft, malleable plastic.

Makes 2 double-patty cheeseburgers. One of these burgers is quite honestly more than one adult man should really eat.

Ingredients:

10 oz. 80% lean Black Angus ground chuck
⅜ oz. minced white onion (1 Tbs)
⅛ tsp coarse ground pepper
½ oz. Allegro Marinade (1 Tbs)
2 best-quality, deli-style hamburger buns – egg buns preferred
Mustard, ketchup, and mayonnaise
8-10 dill pickle chips
Leaf lettuce
1 large tomato, sliced
4 slices deli-style American cheese

Directions:

1. In a small mixing bowl, mix the hamburger, onion, pepper, and marinade with a large spoon. That’s right: no salt – the marinade is salty enough. Mix just until everything seems roughly distributed; don’t over-mix. Set aside.
2. Next, rip off a nice-sized sheet of parchment paper. Place one of your buns – one of your hamburger buns, that is – on the parchment, and with a pencil, trace its perimeter. Cut a square a bit larger than the pencil marking, so that the sides of your square come about ½-inch from the perimeter of your pencil marking. Use that square as a template to create four more squares. Spread your squares out on the countertop, making sure the pencil-side of the template is facing down. Divide the hamburger mixture into four equal-sized meatballs. Place each ball on a square (one square will be ball-less) and mush each of them down slightly, so that they’re somewhat puck-shaped – just enough so that you’ll be able to stack them. Stack them into a tower of meat-and-parchment pucks, using the penciled square as the foundation. Place the final meatless square on top. Use a large, very heavy (cast iron) skillet to flatten the tower. No need for excessive force; the pan will kind of tell you when it’s gone as far as it wants to. Before you lift the pan, though, carefully examine it to make sure it’s level. If it’s not, press down wherever you need to, to make it level. Take the pan away, and you should have four very flat burgers pressed between parchment. In a perfect world, your burgers will have exceeded the pencil marking, and will have squished themselves to the very edge of the parchment. Take the pan to them a second time, to make adjustments if need be.
3. Split your buns and lightly toast their interiors – your hamburger buns, I mean. Give each bottom 3 rings of ketchup and 2 rings of mustard. Top that with 4 or 5 pickles. Slather the tops with mayo. Place one or two leaves of lettuce on top of the mayo, and two slices of tomato on top of the lettuce.

4. Examine your skillet to determine if all four burgers will fit. You may need a griddle, a second pan, or you may need to cook the burgers two at a time. Cast-iron is perfect for this, so if you have it, you should consider whipping it out. Heat the cast-iron skillet for 6 minutes over pretty high heat. Don’t add any oil to the pan. One at a time, slap the burgers into the pan and peel away their parchment backing. As you slap in that first hamburger, the pan should respond with a welcoming sizzle. If it doesn’t, yank that burger back out and try it again when the pan’s hotter. In 1 or 2 minutes, the sides of the burgers should go from pink to cooked. Once they do, flip one. If it’s beautifully browned, flip the other burgers. On the other hand, if that first one isn’t quite as browned as it should be, give the other burgers another minute or so before flipping them. The second side of the burger will cook in about half the time of the first side. About 15 seconds after your burgers are flipped, place two slices of cheese on top of one of the burgers, and two slices atop another (leaving you with two cheeseburgers, and two cheese-less burgers). Once the burgers are ready to come out of the pan, place one cheese-less burger on top of one of the cheeseburgers, and do the same with the other two burgers. You now have two double-patty burgers, with cheese in between the patties. Slide each double burger atop its bottom bun foundation and let them sit for about 1 minute. Toss on the tops, and enjoy.

Allegro Burgers, Five Guys Style

Want some fries with that? Go here.

Here are some YouTube stovetop hamburger videos that I love:

• “How to Cook a Burger, posted by GourmetButcher. The chef has a German accent that just compels you to believe him. Of note: the “divet” trick, brushing the burger with oil, using of two utensils to flip, resting the burger on a rack, seasoning the finished burger, strange bun, forced “yummy” look on chef’s face.
• “Hamburger Recipes : How to Make Juicy Hamburgers on the Stove Top“, posted by cookingguide. Chef Brad is unpretentiously cool. Of note: room temperature beef, agitation technique, the deft flip, “learn your meat” … I’ve always sworn by that statement, resting the burger on the bun.
• “How I Cook Burgers – Chef John Likes His Meat Pink,” posted by Food Wishes. Chef John’s videos are always fun to watch. Of note: watching the side of the burger, listen for his pronunciation of “always.”
• “How To Make The Perfect Hamburger Patty – Secrets And Tips,” posted by Kojo Nnamdi. It’s entertaining.
• “How to Make a Perfect Cheeseburger,” posted by Munchies. This Canadian is a freak, but I’m telling you, his burgers look amazing. Of note: don’t fuck with the shit, don’t eat a burger when you’re in church. If you see no other burger-making video, see this one. (Too much mustard, but otherwise, hell yes.)

And here are some that I like:

• “Eight Tips for Cooking The Perfect Burger – NoRecipeRequired.com“, posted by Dave Beaulieu. Of note: the amount of seasoning.
• “How to Know When Hamburgers Are Done in a Skillet : Burger Cooking Tips,” posted by cookingguide. Of note: lower-temp cooking, thermometer

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Inspired by Allegro Marinade and Ballistic BBQ

Credits for all images on this page: Make It Like a Man! Hover over images and/or green text for more information. Click if you want. This post was not sponsored or solicited by anyone, including Allegro Marinade and Ballistic BBQ. Call me old-fashioned – or maybe an idiot – but everything and everyone cited on this page is there because I happen to dig them in one way or another.

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