The French Open is being played this week, and if it’s anything like previous years, I’ll be having breakfast in bed with Roger Federer.

I’ve had breakfast in bed with Roger many, many times. You know, not “with” with, but “with” as in “he was on TV while I was eating breakfast in bed.” If you want to watch him live at the French Open and you live in Chicago, you’re going to have to get up early, and because no one in their right mind really wants to get up that early, you’re going to stay in bed, and because these matches can go on for hours, you’re going to need something to eat.

As I’ve wondered what I could grab from the fridge and haul into bed, I’ve become curious to know what world-class tennis players eat (or don’t eat) before games, and in general. Turns out, most of it isn’t surprising. Djokovic, for instance: his menus are planned by someone who is more of a biological engineer than a chef, and much like the other players I researched, his diet would be best described as a science experiment or a gnostic religion.

But not Federer. He eats what he damn well wants. Here’s what he likes before a game:

Coffee

…by which a European means espresso.  Of course, Roger. I’m right there with you. I’ve started every morning with one for as long as I can remember.

Fresh-Squeezed Juice

…isn’t really my thing, because I don’t like pulp, but for the benefit of this post, I squeezed some. I had forgotten how delicious it is. I still don’t like pulp, though.  

Homemade Waffles

Yes, Roger likes waffles for breakfast, even on game day. What kind of waffles does he like? He specifies that they should be homemade, but other than that, if the internet knows, it’s keeping it from me. I’m guessing, though, that it’s either Brussels or what we in America call Belgian. I’ve got him covered, either way.

Whereas Federer is the embodiment of effortlessness, poise, and elegance, I’m an undisciplined wildman: instead of sipping my espresso, I poured it over my syrup-soaked waffles and had an immediate and uncontrolled double foodgasm. If that doesn’t leave you feeling weak in the knees, I also used a maple syrup that was aged in bourbon casks. Uh huh.

As espresso shot will definitely sog your waffle. If you don’t want that, add plenty of sugar to four double-shots, and boil them down to a syrup in a small saucepan.

This little meal is without doubt one of the best breakfasts in bed I’ve ever made: freshly squeezed juice, espresso, homemade waffles, fresh blackberries … absolutely gorgeous. You could even make the waffles the night before; they’re (not as good, but) pretty good reheated in a toaster; that’d mean you could whip this up in between sets.

Vinegar Shot

OK, here’s where things take a serious turn. A Roger Federer breakfast includes a vinegar shot. Apparently, it has health benefits. Before getting into it, let’s get some perspective.

What are the three main differences between Federer and me? He’s a 1) handsome 2) celebrity who 3) drinks vinegar shots. Ok there are more than three: he also 4) plays tennis, 5) makes $70M a year, and 6) has an estimated overall net worth of $450M. You know, that last figure really needs its zeroes: he’s worth $450,000,000. But wait, there’s more: he’s also 7) besties with Anna Wintour. I’m not sure which of those differences makes me more envious … it’s probably a toss-up between 6 and 7. Oh, who am I kidding? It’s 1.

Will drinking a vinegar shot get me just one small step closer to being Roger Federer? I think the logic is inescapable: yes, it will. And I’m willing to spend an estimated $4.50 on groceries to prove it.

Although the very idea of a vinegar shot scares the living hell out of me, I decided to try switchel.

Switchel

To my utter shock, it’s refreshing and light. Mildly sweet. The ginger flavor blooms mainly as an aromatic aftertaste. The taste experience is like trying to recall something that you can’t put your finger on, even though it seems like the word is on the tip of your tongue. That word eventually seems to be “white wine cooler,” but then, just as quickly as it comes to you, you’re positive that’s not it. I guess it has a certain je ne sais quoi.

Believe it not, I truly enjoyed this, and I’ll definitely make it again. It’s quite good.

Ingredients for 2 servings

1 Tbs freshly-grated ginger
2 Tbs pure maple syrup
2 tsp cider vinegar
2 cups sparkling water

How to do it:

1. Place the ginger, syrup, and vinegar into a glass container and give it a good swirl to mix.
2. Pour in the water.
3. Strain through a fine-mesh sieve into ice-filled glasses. If not consuming it all at once, return the contents of the sieve to the container to allow the contents to continue to steep.

Notes:

It’s unnecessary to peel the ginger before grating it. Most of the peel won’t make it through the grating holes, and whatever does is fine.

Grate the ginger on the “small” (but not the “fine”) holes of your grater.

You don’t have to use sparkling water; you can use still. However, I found that what the carbonation brought to the switchel was essential. It wasn’t nearly as interesting without it, imho.

Unfortunately, this maple syrup is no longer available for purchase, and the small bit that I have left in my pantry is under lock and key and 24/7 surveillance. However, the bourbon that was subsequently aged in the casks that previously held bourbon and then held maple syrup, is available.

Breakfast with Roger Federer

Yeah, it was actually this Roger Federer story that sent me on my recent waffle-making quest, and I’m so glad of it. I’ve really loved all the waffles I’ve made.

When facing your fears, it always helps if alcohol is involved. And, in turning my thoughts to alcohol, I realize that it’s been there all along. Quite some time ago I brewed up a shrub, which was pretty much a vinegar shot with dark rum. I still have some of my original shrub juice aging in the fridge. Switchel is also sometimes uses as a mixer. Who knew drinking could be so good for you? 

Credit for images on this page: Make It Like a Man!, except where otherwise credited. Thank you, Kesor. This content was not solicited by anyone, including Roger Federer, the United States Tennis Association, and Iron Fish. Furthermore, it was not written in exchange for anything: Roger did not offer me one of his Rolexes, nor a Mercedes, and he did not offer to sneak me into the Met Gala in exchange for this post. The USTA did not promise to fly me to the French Open, and Iron Fish did not offer me bourbon for life.

Because no one sponsored this post, I’m not required to tell you that, as always, my opinions are my own … so I guess you’re just left to wonder.

Thank you, Kesor.

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