Carnival: the original meat fest. What ever happened to that?

Today we think of a carnival as something akin to a circus, or an elaborate celebration. Originally, the word referred to one particular celebration: “carnival” breaks down into two Latin root words: carne (flesh) + levare (to raise, take away). Carnival was a celebration of the meat (as well as eggs and dairy products) from which Christians would abstain during Lent. Today, our interpretation of “carne” seems to be “show us your boobs.”

Mardi Gras says “up yours” to occurring on the same date each year. Mardi Gras doesn’t like being pinned down like that, man.

Carnival begins on the Epiphany (the 12th day after Christmas) and culminates on Mardi Gras (French for “fat Tuesday”), the day before Lent. “Lent” describes the days prior to Easter. Easter is a moveable feast, because it is determined by the lunar calendar, which has a somewhat complex relationship to our (Gregorian) calendar. Because Easter moves, so does Lent, and because Lent moves, so does Mardi Gras. Mardi Gras can fall on any Tuesday between February 3 – March 9, depending on the year.

Mardi Gras Celebrates Decadence

Food isn’t the only restriction associated with Lent. Lent is also a solemn time of abstinence from vice in general. In counterbalance, Carnival – in particular the final three days – is a celebration not only of food, but also of debauchery, excess, and downright strangeness.

Every once  in a while, Mardi Gras likes to fuck with Valentine’s Day, just for kicks.

In 2040, Mardi Gras will coincide with Valentine’s Day. How will we celebrate both? I suppose we’ll have to engorge our Valentines with jelly doughnuts and chocolates, get drunk, and see if we can all earn ourselves some heart-shaped beads. What’s more, according to Wikipedia, Mardi Gras “has become a single people’s counter to the coupled-centric Valentine’s Day.” How do we mesh this with our Valentine celebrations? Three-ways? Can’t wait!

In 2018, Mardi Gras will fall on February 13th, which means that Valentine’s Day will fall on the first day of Lent. I’m going to give up buying cards, chocolates, and roses that year. Sorry honey; take it up with the Pope.

If you’re not already eating Fat Tuesday doughnuts, you’re falling behind.

Carnival began this year on Tuesday, January 6, 2016. Here’s what you should already be eating, to excess, as you approach the last big hurrah before Lent:

Pancakes are popular and traditional. If you want to be extra fancy, roll your meat up in a delicious buttermilk hotcake: breakfast sausage, rolled in a pancake, covered in maple syrup. Mmm. If a stack is more your thing, though, make sure it’s decadent.

Polish Catholics eat pączki. This reminds of me of St. Patrick’s Day in the sense that on that day, people who aren’t Irish mistake green beer for something Irish, while on Mardi Gras, people who aren’t Polish will mistake any old jelly doughnuts for pączki. Real pączki are fucking amazing. (I was going to delete that previous obscenity until I realized that Lent doesn’t start for another day or so. Sorry, Mom, but you can’t give up swearing for lent if you don’t swear the rest of the year. Ergo: God wants us to swear most of the damn time.)

Fastnachts are traditional German pastries, made popular in the U.S. by the Pennsylvania Dutch. This and hot pretzels are among the few things the PA Dutch do well. Trust me, I’ve eaten their pecan-less pie.

The Swedes, who are better than you are, enjoy Fastlagsbulle, in part because you can’t pronounce it, and in part because it’s made from almond paste, which is beyond your experience.

Happy Mardi Gras! Before you start your Lenten fast, check this out: Przepisy na Tłusty Czwartek. Seriously, I love this chick and wish to God that I one day discover that she’s one of my relatives from the old country, and I wind up visiting her, and she winds up cooking the entire contents of her blog for me.

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Additional credits: People, Living Rootless, Co-Ed, The Passing Shot, Moje Wypieki, International Business Times, Dwie Chochelki. Hover over image and/or green caption text for more info.

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