When I’m not manning the kitchen, I’m looking for a spot to drink coffee, grab a bite, write, and grow my beard. In its Log On series, miLam will tell you where to find such places, with free Wi-Fi, in Chicago. In this edition, find out how to get free Wi-Fi in Rogers Park, while on the lookout for electrical outlets, good coffee, and some fantastic Jesuit beard-spotting. Log on like a man!

Free Wi-Fi in Rogers Park Starbucks

Rogers Park’s contributions to Chicago’s murder capital status tend to come from the north end of the neighborhood, far away. Here, the contributions of Loyola’s Jesuits dominate. You’re more likely to have your horizons expanded than you are to have your car stolen, but getting here via the Red Line or Dodge Neon will stack the deck in your favor.

Can you work or study here? Yes. It’s medium-sized with decent seating, but not a ton. Most of the seats have decent table space. Plugs: Much of the seating is “floating” in the middle of the café, and thus has no access to wall plugs. I strongly suspect that even along the walls the plugs aren’t plentiful. I did find outlets near the door; if you need one for sure, sit there if you can. Bathrooms? Fine.

Coffee: Good, as usual

Why Choose this Place?

Because you love the humanities. You fucking love cabaret music in French. You want to live in a world where scholarly-looking, older Latino men study the hell out of Chinese “just because.” Because Jesuit Beard-Spotting. A beautiful man with the darkest, blackest, thickest, fullest, richest, most fantastic beard – a beard that evoked in me a veneration inspired by its very existence, a beard that exposed latent numinous fears and left me transfixed and humbled … a mysterious and even sacred, massively-impressive mid-length naturally styled beard – so powerful-looking that it could probably take the Stanley Cup several years in a row – popped in for a take-out coffee. I spent many years attempting to construct a tardis, so that I could spend a few decades in the late 1800’s, a glorious time when men wore beards proudly. Bearded men are obviously what God intended. Yet men are such proud bastards … so arrogant, and so defiant as to give God the finger by deliberately shaving. My attempts at harnessing Antron energy^[2] ultimately failed. I went to Plan B: a covert effort to influence men’s fashion on an international scale in order to bring about a new modern era of favorability toward beards. My efforts seem stalled with the go-T for what seemed like ever, but finally, success! Everywhere I look, a beard. I am today face-to-face with the fruit of my efforts: the manliest goddamned beard I will ever see. I wanted to ask the dark-bearded mofo if he could sit a while and tell me how long it took to grow that beard, and does he realize he’d look like a Mediterranean Brahms if he grew that beard out a bit more, and oh by the way could I tug on it for good luck … but I thought that last part might come off as weird.

2/7/201412:03 – 3:00 PM,3/3/201412:52 – 2:00 PM

Hungry?

Try Bop-N-Grill.

Notes:

Recently Spotted Beards:

Classic Beards:

Other Places to Log On:

The Good Luck Tug

Archer Heights, Boystown, Edgewater Beach, Fulton River District, Gold Coast, Lincoln Park, Pilsen, Ravenswood, West Loop, Wicker Park, West Town, Uptown

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